I'm smart. I'm capable. I'm pro-active. So why can't I find a damn job!? Christmas is less than 2 weeks away, and I'm screwed! No gifts yet, and no money with which to buy said gifts! I don't know what I'm going to do! I wish at the very least that their dad would help out with SOMETHING. But he won't. He doesn't have a job either. And I don't even know when was the last time he had one. Not to mention, he's not even allowed to see the boys without supervision.
I can pay rent... and the cable bill... and the phone bill. And that's all.
How do things like this happen to me??? I feel at such a loss, I just want to be able to give my boys a nice holiday. Is that so much to ask? If I wasn't receiving food stamps... well, I don't think I know how we'd eat. I feel like the world is spiraling out of control and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
The worst of it is, that Charlie's and Johnathon's birthdays are right on top of Christmas. If I fail, I fail in a BIG way. I don't know what to do.... Wish me luck.
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